The SportsGal on "Brangelina"

Warning: the meat of this post is actually someone else's thoughts. And before you read it, there are two things you should know:

1. I love reading articles by Bill Simmons, aka the SportsGuy. He writes from a fan's perspective, throws in a lot of random pop culture references, and constantly makes fun of things. Perfect reading, as far as I'm concerned. And on his weekly football picks, his wife writes a little blurb and makes her football picks as well. Her writing's still new to me, but I'm pretty sure I'd like her if I met her...
2. I have a love-hate relationship with the melding of names of celebrity couples, such as Bennifer (versions 1 and 2), Brangelina, TomKat and Vaughniston. I love anything that allows me to cut out syllables*, but I hate that we now have to do it for every couple and that it's a little, well, smarmy, I guess. Just a weird thing for fans to do. But, the saving of syllables, and in the case of typing, keystrokes, is enough to warrant my using Brangelina in the title. Just know that I hate myself a little for doing it.

And now for the post - I just read this in the SportsGal's comments for the week, and I thought it was great. Totally true for me, too. And I really hope I'm not breaking any copywrite laws or anything by reposting - but I found this at http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061221 on 12/24/06. Maybe that semi-citation can keep me from getting sued. Here goes:

"I used to really like Angelina Jolie. Ever since she starred in "Gia," I admired her flawless natural beauty, as well as the many character flaws that made her more likable and less threatening overall. Maybe she was a recovering drug addict, a cutter, a brother kisser, and a blood vial-wearing skank who looked like she showered once a week, but she didn't care what others thought and was totally comfortable going out in public without tons of makeup on. So that made her likable, at least to me. Even when she married Billy Bob Thornton, who's absolutely disgusting, I didn't hold it against her.

Then everything changed: She adopted Maddox, became a goodwill ambassador, started making normal movies and slowly made everyone forget that she was crazy. Next, she seduced and stole the husband of one of the most likable female celebs, adopted another baby with her stolen man, then had his biological child months before his divorce was even done. Now she travels all over the world in private jets wasting fuel and pretending to do nice things when we all know she's really a husband-stealing witch. But what really turned me into a full fledged Angelina hater was this month's Vogue article about her, with Angelina smugly pushing for peace talks between her and Jennifer Aniston, even having the gall to say, "That would be her decision, and I would welcome it." If I were Jennifer Aniston, I would welcome it, too. Then I would meet Angelina for lunch and repeatedly smash a chair over her head."

Yay, SportsGal!

*My friends would tell you that the syllable thing is true. I pronounce DSW (the shoe store) dis-wuh and routinely refere to GWU, or the George Washington University, as gwoo. Much easier.

Random Thoughts (but not by Jack Handy)

The past week and half has been pretty busy, and my blog has suffered for it. In addition to shopping for Christmas and Chanukah gifts (or Chrismahanukwanzasolstibirthdaykah gifts, as I like to call them), work's been busy with year-end stuff, and I seem to have had plans on several evenings, which is not the norm. Isn’t it weird how you can go weeks without making dinner plans and then all of a sudden you’re out 4 nights in a row? I guess that’s just how it works...

So instead of any single theme or idea in this post, here are my random stories and thoughts from the week:

This past weekend, I went with some friends to Charlottesville, VA for the UVA-Hampton basketball game. The new John Paul Jones arena is pretty cool, but the game wasn’t all that exciting. My roommate and I did have an interesting food experience, though. I’m not that great at typing out complicated stories, but let me just say that if you order cinnamon pretzel bites at a UVA basketball game, beware of the cinnamon goo that squirts out of either end. There is absolutely NO way to eat one without goo squirting out somewhere. It just cannot be done.

My favorite comedian, George Carlin, has a list of people he “could do without” that he has used in his stand-up routine (check it out here: http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/25483/George_Carlin_People_I_Can_Do_Without.html ). It includes a variety of people: “a proctologist with poor depth perception,” “guys in their 50’s named Skip,” “a funeral director who says ‘hope to see you again real soon’,” and others. I think I would add movie critics and music critics. I mean, isn’t anyone who listens to music or watches movies a critic? What makes them better at deciding what’s good and what’s not? And why should I care what some guy I’ve never met thinks about the new Kanye West song? I’m pretty sure I’m capable of making my own decision about whether or not I like a song.

The title of this post made me think of the old “Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy” on SNL. I loved them so much that one time I bought a book of them – but now I don’t know where it is. Luckily, the trusty old Internet is very helpful – there’s the official site: http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/ and several unofficial ones. When you’re bored, you should check it out.

Ok, I think that’s it for now. Sorry for the posting delay, and hopefully I’ll have some better ones up soon. In the meantime, Happy last couple days of Chanukah and hope everyone that celebrates Christmas has a wonderful holiday on Monday! Happy holidays!

On a scale of 1-10, what's a 5?

While I was in grad school, I participated one of those medical experiment things for money at the suggestion of a friend who worked at the National Institute of Health. I don’t really remember what the research was looking at, but it involved me being in an MRI, looking at some patterns on a screen and receiving slight shocks on the inside of my wrist. In order for the doctors to figure out what level they should set the shocker-thing at (as you can see, I’m definitely not a scientist), they asked me to rate different shocks on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being not painful at all, and 10 being as painful as I could imagine. They never got near the 10 range – not even to the 5 – but I thought the whole scale thing was ridiculous.

As far as pain goes, what’s a 10? If it’s the worst pain imaginable – well, I can imagine a lot of really painful things. Things to graphic to put in a blog. And there’s no way that a shock they would use in an out-patient experiment open to the public would come anywhere close to that pain. And if a 10 is the most painful I can imagine, what’s a 5? Half of the most painful thing? Maybe a rating of 5 is something like having my knee bent backward or dislocating my shoulder. The problem is, I have no idea – the most painful thing that’s ever happened to me is a kidney stone, and it hurt pretty bad, but I can imagine a lot worse. So is that a 7? A 3? There has to have been a better way for them to measure that, but I don’t know what it was.

And that’s not the only problem I have with rating scales. It doesn’t have any affect on my life or anything, but it annoys me that for me, the logical “average” of a 1-10 rating scale is 5 or 6 (5.5 to be more accurate), but other people think it’s a 7. Maybe people assume that scale of 1-10 is the same thing as giving grades – 9 or 10 is an A, 8 is a B, 7 is a C (or average), 6 is a D and 5 and below are failing.

Here’s an example: It’s a common thing for people to discuss other people and rate their looks, but again, what’s a 5 in this situation? The way I think of it, on a scale of 1-10, 5.5 is right in the middle, so 5.5 should be average. 10 would be pretty much perfect – someone like Brad Pitt or Halle Berry in perfect lighting with perfect makeup and just the right outfit (not that those two necessarily need it). So if I were rating guys, even very good-looking ones, I might give out 8s and 9s, and definitely some 5s, 6s and 7s, but probably not many 9.5s or 10s, because perfection’s hard to achieve. But those same people could possibly be insulted by a 6, even though for me that means above average. For people who use rating scales like grades, they could give a high 7 or an 8 to someone I might rate at a 6, which skews the “scores.”

Like I said, doesn’t really have much to do with my life, but it’s just one of those little things that occasionally sticks in my brain.

* If you’ve ever seen the ads for one of those “Rate my Picture” sites on the Internet*, maybe you get what I’m saying… one such site: www.ratingmylooks.com

Board Game Frustration

I love board games. I don't play them that often, because they usually work best for groups of people and most of my time is spent in the company of one or two of my roommates and my dog, but I definitely enjoy them when I get the chance.

Although we have a decent selection at my house right now - Taboo, a couple Trivial Pursuits, Scene It, Scattergories, etc - I wouldn't mind adding to the collection. The problem is that they take up too much space.

And what bothers me even more is that many of these games could just be made as extender packs that come in much smaller packaging and just use the boards from previous games. Does every new version of Trivial Pursuit really need its own board? I mean, how hard could it be to make a new set of cards using the same colors and pie pieces as the original, but with a new theme? Do I really need a 12x12x4 box for Trivial Pursuit 90's Edition, 20th Century Edition, 80's Edition, Genus IV edition, and on and on and on?

When Scene-It came out, I thought it was finally going to be the game to capitalize on the extender pack theory. And they've done more than many of the other games, but I still wish they'd do more. They have a Movie Edition Sequel Pack, and HBO and Turner Classic Movies expansion packs, but they have separate board games only for the TV, Friends, WB 50th Anniversary and Nickelodeon editions. At least the Scene It people sort of have the right idea...

Now, I know it probably has something to do with the profit margin. Game makers can charge more ($30 - $40) for a new game than they could for just the new DVD & card portion, but you'd think they could offer both - the new board and game for people who don't have it yet, and a somewhat cheaper version for those of us that already have the board part. Wouldn't that be nice?

I guess it's just another thing I'll have to fix when I take over the world...

Give me something to believe in

On Sunday, my cousin and I saw the new movie, Bobby. At the end, both of us exited the theatre talking about how it was one of the best movies we’ve seen in a long time – if not ever. And even though the movie covered mostly a single day, and was much more about the storylines of the people at the Ambassador Hotel than it was about the man, it made me feel like I was there. It made me want to work for RFK's campaign; it made me want him to win the California primary. At the time, I couldn’t even think of the right words, but my cousin and I managed to have a conversation something like this:

Him: I get the feeling he didn’t just want to be President.
Me: Yeah, like he felt he needed to be…
Him: And that would be the best President to have

I wasn’t alive in 1968 – my parents were barely even dating then, but the movie made me wish I had been around to witness such a man running for President. Over the past 5 years, I’ve been involved in politics at the local, state and federal level (for the Democratic Party, if that matters). But I’m still waiting to see that candidate that makes me think… (s)he’s the one. The one to help our country go in the right direction – the one who cares more about what our country needs than about the power he or she will have as President. And maybe that’s how the Kennedy’s were, and after 4 decades, it’s been lost from our collective memory. Or maybe it’s that we haven’t had such a leader in a long time. Or maybe we’ve been choosing the wrong people as candidates and electing the wrong people to office.

To be fair, I don’t think politicians are inherently a bad breed of people. You give a group of people power and attention, and someone’s going to do something stupid – maybe even a lot of someones. But we shouldn’t reward that – we shouldn’t reelect people just because incumbency is stable and breeds more power. We also shouldn’t let attack ads detract from the good of someone, or party lines keep us from choosing the best man or woman to lead our values. Voting for our country’s leaders should not be an easy choice – unless one person edges out the rest as someone who will lead us wherever it is we should go.

Don’t get me wrong – I know that not everyone wanted Robert Kennedy to win the Democratic nomination, let alone the Presidency. But everything I’ve read and watched about him and his run have led me to believe that it was something special… he was something special. I hope we find that again…

(To end this on a brighter note – I definitely recommend the movie. After you see it, let me know what you thought – I’d love to hear other peoples’ opinions. And if you’re more of a reader, I highly suggest the book 1968: The Year that Rocked the World, by Mark Kurlansky.)

Fried Gator

For lunch today, I went to a Louisiana/Cajun style restaurant in St. Joseph, MO with my mom, my roommate and my roommate’s mom. I was tempted to order an appetizer of fried alligator, but I wasn’t quite that hungry, and I don’t know that anyone else was either (plus there’s probably no way my mom would’ve eaten it). If I had thought about the fact that KU was set to play Florida in basketball tonight, though, I probably would’ve ordered some, eaten it, and enjoyed the feeling of gator going down.

It turns out Kansas didn’t even need my metaphorical help (shocking, isn’t it?) and I got to enjoy Gators going down anyways... With 19 points (including clutch free throws) from Darrell “Shady” Arthur, several big plays and crazy dunks by Julian Wright (who had a career high 21 points), and an all around good team effort, the Jayhawks beat the country’s #1 team 82-80 in overtime. All I know is that if we can play like that against a national championship team that returned all 5 starters, we can play with anybody…

But I’m not here to recap the game – that’s what sports reporters are for (check out the KUSports link to the right if that's what you want). The thing is, watching a game like that is, to quote my best-friend-in-law, “an emotionally draining experience.” I can’t decide if I want to dance a jig, run around in circles, jump up and down while screaming, or take a nap. I watched the game at my friends’ place, and they have a super comfy couch with a chaise lounge on one end. For the last 10 minutes of the game (including OT), I alternately paced the floor, sat on the couch, kneeled on the couch, and jumped around. My stomach was tense, my shoulders were tight… and I’m just a fan. I can’t even imagine being a player or a coach. Can you?

I love watching the players on the bench get excited for good plays and tense at the end of a close game. I enjoy watching young players blossom – from Mario Chalmers quickly going after loose balls on defense and Julian Wright showing off his amazing athleticism to Darrell Arthur calmly sinking several big free throws with all eyes on him. I get excited when there's a big run in points, I worry when someone takes an extra few seconds to get up from a tumble, I get frustrated when players make stupid mistakes, and I get all knotted up when the game is close and every play matters... in other words, I ride an emotional roller coaster for two hours and I'm not even related to anyone playing in the game.

I have to remind myself that these players are just college students – some are as young as 18 and we (the fans) pin our hopes on them for 34+ games per year. I feel for the coaches who can do little more than teach and guide (and scream and yell, I’m sure), and hope that the players listen and learn. So, to all of the players and coaches… thanks for playing, and Rock Chalk Jayhawk, GO KU!!!!!

Side note: Obviously, I was rooting for the Jayhawks, but Florida played a great game as well. I actually enjoyed watching Florida’s run to the Championship last year, so it was fun again to watch them play tonight. I’m not gonna lie, I’m glad they lost – but to Taurean Green, Al Horford, Joakim Noah & the rest – you’ve got amazing talent. But still, I hope that when April rolls around, the Jayhawks go home with the title of National Champs.

Two (in a way 3) Things I'm Thankful For

1. My parents. No matter where I go or what I do, they are always there for me. And I’m not just talking about the big stuff, like when I hated my job (back when I was an auditor) and wanted to quit, or when I crashed my car into a tree on my way to school when I was 15. They’re reliable for that stuff, too, but the small things make the difference. My dad always answers the phone and listens to my random thoughts – I’m behind a red car that’s old looking. What kind is it? or Can I have a lake house? A speed boat? A jet-ski? A paddle boat? or Do you think Grandpa Bill [his father] sounded like Joe Lieberman when he talked? And just the other day, after watching an episode of One Tree Hill, I called my mom and said, “Do I have an African-American half-brother in the Marines?” Without skipping a beat, she said, “How’d you find out?” Seriously – I have some pretty awesome parents.
   
2. My roommate(s). I have three, and they’re all pretty great, but the one I’ve been living with the longest gets the most kudos from me. She’s probably the one who benefits most from this blog, because now I can type out some of the random thoughts that usually just get explained to her, where she’s expected not only to nod, but also to comment. Plus, she helps me find my keys when I lose them, remembers to take the trash out every week, and puts up with my sarcastic sense of humor. And she can fold a fitted sheet. I bet other people wish they had roommates this cool…

Obviously, I'm thankful for other things, but if I listed them all, this post could go on and on. But here's a quick Honorable Mention List:

• My siblings, nieces and nephew
• My dog
• The makers of Ben-Gay (sounds random, but I could explain)
• Kevin Smith, George Carlin, Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert
• Computers and the Internet
• The guy that invented the printing press

Thanks to everyone that's important to me. Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

The longest game of telephone - ever

I think a lot about religion. Actually, the better way to phrase that would be to say that I think about religion a lot. I spend way more time wondering about how religion got where it is today than I do about what I actually believe, though. And the other day, while standing next to a whole bunch of random people on a fairly crowded (but not uncomfortably so) Metro train, I was thinking about how all of the different religions are pretty much just different end results of a game of Telephone. Remember that from when you were a kid? One person whispers something to the kid next to him or her, and it goes down the line or around the circle until the last person, and it never comes out the way it started.

Truthfully, I don’t know details of many religions. I was raised a conservative Jew, and even though I went to a private Jewish school for 4 years and Hebrew School for 7 years after that (plus took a Judaism class in college), I don’t even know that much about Judaism. I do know that there are people who believe that the Bible/Torah/Old Testament or whatever you want to call is actually the word of G-d.* If you use the telephone theory, it totally makes sense that a huge portion of the population decided that parts of the Bible foretold of the coming of Jesus (the Son of God) while people of the Jewish faith are still waiting for the Messiah. Elementary school students can rarely make it through a line of 10 without losing or changing some of the words in the game – how would humanity be able to make it thousands of years with no changes? Especially since the beginnings of religion likely precluded writing… makes you think, doesn’t it?

*Let me explain the dash. Growing up, I was never allowed to actually write out the word, because there’s some Jewish rule about having to give anything with the deity’s name written out some sort of proper burial. Or the teachers were afraid it would get misspelled, I’m not sure. Anyways, the habit continues, just in case I end up in Hell for spelling out the word. G-d forbid. But now I realized that unless this is printed, it really doesn’t matter, because you can’t bury a website. So please don’t print this, or God will be mad. Unless my religion’s wrong, in which case you’re probably fine. And either way, I warned you, so print at your own peril.

11/20/06, 11:29pm. (the actual time this was written...)

As you may have noticed, I actually started writing this blog before even having one. I just tried the blogspot website, and it’s apparently having problems, so I guess I’m going to have to wait to actually find a name and start up the official blog.

Right now I’m typing this up with ESPN2’s College GameDay on in the background. It is sometimes amazing to me that as each year passes, I seem to enjoy college basketball more and more. A few years ago, I pretty much only paid attention to Kansas Basketball during the regular season, and then half-heartedly watched the tournament up until the Sweet Sixteen or Elite Eight. Not so anymore – I now find myself staying up late to watch the replay of the Arizona-UVA game (definitely worth it – UVA came back to win a close one), caring about who won the Maryland-Winthrop game (and I’ve even heard of Winthrop before), and itching to go to bed to continue reading John Feinstein’s A March to Madness. I guess what I’m trying to say is – it’s basketball season, and I’m loving it. And I’m guessing this isn’t the last time it comes up in my blog.

Naming my Blog

Finally, I’ve decided to get myself a blog. It’s been a long time coming – I’ve been thinking about it off and on for about a year now, but I can never think of what I want to call it. According to the omniscient character Lucas in Empire Records (one of my faves), “The first thing you need is a name. Then you'll know what kind of band you've got.” I realize I’m not starting a band, but I’m guessing the name thing is just as important in blogging. If you already know me, then my year-long thought process probably won’t surprise you, since you know I always have multiple trains of thought going on. If you just happen along onto this blog… sorry if things get a little random, but that’s how my brain works. Crap, now I have to think of a name…*

*one day later - I have a name. Actually, I was trying to decide on the address title - and I decided on midnight-a-musing. I do my best thinking at night, and maybe it'll be amusing. Either way, each thought definitely counts as a musing. :-)